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Last blog!

I actually enjoyed keeping blog this semester. At the beginning I had trouble remembering to do it and would scram last minute to complete it, but eventually it became routine. It was one assignment that I actually enjoyed doing every week. I loved having the freedom to write about whatever we wanted. It had me reflecting on various parts of my life that I don’t often put to words. I assumed it would be difficult for me to come up with a topic at the beginning but slowly I was getting more creative and really like a few of my blogs I wrote. There wasn’t anything I truly did not like about this assignment. I think it is a good way to get students writing freely. Keeping up with a blog allowed for a growth in creativity and provided an outlet to let out some steam or something you’ve been bottling up. I probably will not keep up with a blog though. I would feel strange not having an audience to write to anymore, so instead of publicly keeping a blog I may start to write in a journal. In a small way, I think that keeping a blog made me a better writer. As a child, I loved writing short stories. I would write elaborated crazy stories that showed so much creativity. In high school, I wrote for my school’s newspaper. I wrote mainly profile stories which didn’t allow much creativity. Now with this assignment, I got that freedom back. Even though I wasn’t writing short stories and more just about my opinion on things and stories about my life, my mind was allowed to wander. This all made me a better writer because it reminded me of all the times I used to write and gave me that desire back.

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The Things I Eat

I have been a vegetarian since middle school. It has been about eight years since I purposely ate meat. I have always been an animal lover and for the first half of my life I lived in a state of oblivion about what I was eating. My brother and I had gotten in an argument while eating breakfast one morning, knowing my most beloved object was my stuffed pig that I slept with, he told me that the bacon that I so dearly loved was made of pigs. As stupid as it sounds, I guess it never really hit me about that exactly I was consuming. Slowly I dwindled down the list of meats I would eat until it came down to zero. I am a very particular person and analytical when it comes down to food. I am very texture orientated and meat became very hard to inspect every bite. Still to this day I am very certain about what I will and will not eat. I believe we have to treat our bodies very well as we will be stuck with this same body our whole lives. I would rather not eat something that was walking around the same land I do and breathing the same air I breathe. I do not like not knowing how the food got to me and hate to think that pain was caused on an animal for my consumption. My day to day diet lacks the nutrients that can be found in meat, but I am learning more and more of what I can do to replace these vitamins and proteins. I plan on living my whole life meat free.

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Love

Love. It’s what makes the world go round, right? I have always loved love and have been so open to saying I love you to people. As a child, I told my parents I loved them like it was my job. We would go back and forth and say “I love you more.” I truly believed there was no way anyone could have more love than I did for them in those moments.

As I have grown up, I have realized the many types of love. There’s the parental kind, that it based around this dependence for them. There is the best friend love where you truly love how this person acts and how it feels to be together. There’s your first love, which can be blinding and painful, but special and different and amazing all at the same time.

Then there is the healthy and true love. I believe this is the type of love where you can be your truest self. In this love, you feel that you would do anything for them and that forever wouldn’t be enough time with them. They make you feel as though you are perfect despite your flaws and that nothing could change that.

There is also the self-love. This is a struggle for many, including myself. But I believe that if this is not reached, true love with someone else will be hard to come by. It is a work in progress type of love. I love love and I say it all the time. The feeling of giving your love and receiving love is almost magical. I believe it opens one’s heart and makes one happier knowing they have their own person to go back to at the end of the day.

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Optimism

I have a ton of emotions about the times we are currently living through. This new normal of life is not what anyone wants. It feels especially daunting to me as a I am not a fan of change and have a tendency to think about the worst that could possibly happen. Over this past year, I have met people and experienced things that have changed my perspective. After experiencing a change that I dreaded happening last summer, I learned that change can actually be for the good. I have to remind myself of this when faced with new situations. For example, one new change is my life at college to my now life back at home. Things are very different and I cannot say that I don’t wish I was back at school. However, I have been trying to welcome this new time with open arms and see it as a time to grow. Secondly I have been trying to be optimistic during this time. I cannot help but think of the possibility of the coronavirus ruining next year and this summer. Even though these are possibilities, I have also been trying to tell myself that there is a chance that a cure will be found soon and that life will be back to normal. Thinking negatively can seriously have harmful effects. After struggling with this for the last couple years, I know how just thoughts can ruin your mood for a whole day and affect those around you. I have tried to talk to others who are having a positive mindset as it helps to keep one. Times are tough and scary so the least we can do is help ourselves and try to remain happy.

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My biggest mistake

In high school, a lot of people experience their first love, I am included in this. It is unlike anything one has ever felt, as they are navigating this whole new realm of life. Being young comes with making many mistakes and these mistakes can be made due to being blinded by love.

I was one who had been afraid of change. This influenced me to stick with bad habits and people that I shouldn’t have. I would constitute my first love in this category and my biggest mistake was staying with someone who was really not good for me. I knew things were always pretty bad. We had our ups but the overwhelming bad was obvious and I tried to remain oblivious to this in fear of my life being different. I let this lead to a three year relationship filled with cheating and breakups and just hurting. I made the mistake of accepting things that should have not been accepted and of allowing myself to be walked over. I risked my own happiness for someone else’s day in and day out.

I try to view this time in my life not as a mistake but as a learning experience. I wouldn’t go back and not have this relationship but I would go back and stand up for myself and if that led to the end of it then I would accept it. I met someone by luck who treats me how I always wanted to be treated and I think that I appreciate and value my current boyfriend even more after going through what I went through. I learned to only accept what I deserve and to take better care of myself. I am so happy now.

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When I grow up…

I’ve always been a dreamer. I made these epic goals of starting hospitals in different countries, speaking multiple languages, owning a zoo, and having 10 kids. I always aimed high and thought this was all so doable. As I grew up, the sad reality hit that these things may not be achievable. I have always wanted to be a veterinarian and a children’s book author. Unfortunately, I am extremely ungifted in the realms of math and science. This threw me for a loop when deciding what to major in as I couldn’t do what I wanted as science and math stood in the way. On top of this, I am a very indecisive person. I didn’t use to be, but knowing all the things that can go wrong in life and worrying about those things made me an extreme overthinker. However, I found a passion for psychology and decided to go with what I love because of advice from my first advisor and my siblings.

When I grow up, I want to get my P.h.D. in psychology and either work at a university doing research or doing clinical work. My end goal in life is to teach psychology at a university. I still want to incorporate animals into my life in some way. I plan to start a non for profit for rescuing animals. I also dream about being a published children’s book author. Although my future is uncertain, I am focusing on the present and doing what I love and seeing where that takes me.

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At home

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With the Coronavirus spreading like wildfire, we have all been called to stay inside our homes. Classes have been put online, shops have been closed, and families are coming together. It is a scary time that we live in with the growing threat of yourself or loved ones being infected.

For me, the move to online classes has been a sad experience. I absolutely love being at the University of Dayton. My days are filled with classes, friends, and laughter. It is a constant hangout. However, I do understand the need for classes to be off campus, but it doesn’t make this any easier, missing out on what would have been two more months of pure bliss before summer break. I miss my friends as I live three states away from most of them. I miss my dorm room and roommates who bring constant fun. I miss carefree weekends and seeing everyone smiling and so happy. It is so hard to not reflect on what I am missing out on.

But I understand fully the absolute need for isolation, and the bigger problems of the world than missing out on parties and campus life. I have been trying to take this time to better myself. At school, I often find it hard to juggle work and play. Now with all this time I have been able to plan my work out better. I have also been able to make time for things I want to do like FaceTiming my friends and watching shows and movies. I have been making goals to keep myself in check, like working out four times a week and spending time with my family and not isolating in my bedroom. I have also been trying to keep a cleaner living space. All of this I am hoping will get me through these tough times, as I am starting to get a little stir crazy.

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What dogs can teach people

Animals have always been a crucial part of my life. I have always dreamed of being a veterinarian or a zoologist. I think animals can be great examples on how to live life fully, especially dogs.

Dogs are always a loyal companion, which teaches us how to be a friend. They are always there to protect you and have your back. They are greet you warmly and are excited to see you, exactly how a close and loving friend acts. Secondly, dogs can teach us to show one another compassion. In my experience, my dog has always come to me when I have shown that I am upset. He doesn’t leave my side and is so comforting. Another thing dogs can teach us is to live in the present. Dogs do not worry about the possibilities of tomorrow or the mistakes of yesterday. Instead they can only focus on the current moment. I think that is something to admire because I often worry about things out of my control that don’t pertain to the present. Dogs face each day with eagerness; they get excited about the small things, like going for a walk or getting their bowl filled. We should start appreciating every little thing in life because life is short. One last thing dogs can teach us is to forgive more easily. Even when an owner takes away a dogs bone or toy, the dog is still their happy selves. Often humans can be quick to hold grudges or let something minor effect them greatly. This is bad for our emotional health and we should take after dogs to let things go more easily.

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“Whatever you are be a good one,” -Abraham Lincoln

This week I have chosen to write about my favorite quote. The quote is “Whatever you are be a good one.” This quote is commonly attributed to Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln is my favorite historical figure. Ever since I was a child, I have always had a fascination with Abe. This quote has been hung in my basement for my entire life. I love it because it is very simple and I think it describes my viewpoint on life. I have always been a hardworking person and and try to be good at everything I put energy into. For example, it is easy to be a student but it a lot better to be a good student and that requires hard work and time management and various other skills. In order to be the best version of yourself, it is vital that you focus on working hard to get there. The first part of this quote, “Whatever you are,” points out that you have the opportunity to be anything. It doesn’t matter if what you are is something smaller like a coworker or something larger like a mother. However who ever you choose to be, you must be better than average, which is the second part of the quote, “be a good one.” I think this quote can be applied to many parts of life because it is just saying do your best no matter what you are. Whenever I feel like not putting effort in or just doing the barre minimal, I think of this quote and hope you do too.

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The Job I had for One Day

For some odd reason, I had always wanted to work at Edible Arrangements. My sister had worked there one winter while on break from college and had a great experience. I am a big lover of fruit and chocolate, everything that edible arrangements is about. My local edible arrangements was hiring this past winter break. My expectations were extremely high and I was so excited. I went into work and was greeted by the manager, a man in his 30s. He immediately gave off weird vibes as he brushed the dog hair off my leg, a very uncomfortable interaction. Throughout the entire eight hour day, I was creeped out as he would pat my back and at one point sat on my lap. There were a few other girls around my age working, yet I was the only one getting this strange attention from him. The owners also were working and were really kind people. I left and explained my time to some of my friends and to my family. I did not realize that how he was acting was not okay. I had to call the next day and say I was no longer able to work there anymore. A part of me felt guilty because I knew they needed help in this busy time of the year. However, a part of me was also proud of myself for standing up for myself. this experience scared me a lot for the future. It is way too common that women in the workplace get mistreated. I have had prior experience of this at the country club I used to work at as a receptionist. Older men workers would say uncomfortable things to me and give me unwanted attention. It scares me to know how many young girls experience this and want to see this changed. 

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